We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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