Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
