im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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