she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
