I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
