Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
