you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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