at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
