Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Even my vagina gasped.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
