Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
