Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
