Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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