Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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