I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
