yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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