In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
