my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
