drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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