people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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