I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
