return my video game
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
