Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
