Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
