Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
