I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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