Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
