I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
