OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
