i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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