why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize