It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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