This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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