Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
