I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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