So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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