Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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