I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
