i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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