I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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