I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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