if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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