she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
