he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
