If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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