Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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