This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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