I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
