I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My vagina is officially offended.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
