Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I did not marry a roomba.
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