Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
tell me about the eggs
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
