thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
