I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Less talking, more tequila
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
