So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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