I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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