he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
