You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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