bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I want her autograph on my taint
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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