Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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