if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
