So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
