i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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