you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
